


The Doom Of All Men... Is To Be Flirted With

by katling



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2019 [9]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Civil War Team Iron Man, Comments moderated due to trolls, F/M, Inappropriately Timed Flirting, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Steve Friendly, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony is somewhat perturbed, not really on Tony's part though, not team Cap friendly, perilously close to crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 11:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18193721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katling/pseuds/katling
Summary: Look, Tony likes being flirted with as much as the next person but he hasstandards, you know.Written for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019 - Square K1: Doom





	The Doom Of All Men... Is To Be Flirted With

“Doom is impressed with your latest armour.”

Tony paused in the action of destroying another doombot and preened a little. “You like it? Nanotech. My latest invention.”

“Doom likes it very much.”

Tony finished off the doombot and turned his attention to its creator. “You’ve never thought of going down that route?”

“Tony,” came Rogers’ harsh censorious bark across the comms. “Focus.”

Tony sighed and rolled his eyes, even though only FRIDAY could see that. Having the Rogues back was a necessary evil.. and thankfully a necessary evil that he only had to deal with on the battlefield but still...

“Rules, Rogers,” he shot back, equally harshly, as he turned his attention back to the doombots in an effort to find the control drone and shut this all down.

He could almost feel Rogers’ scowling glare from across the considerable distance between them. The Rogues might be back but that didn’t mean that Rogers was in charge anymore. That task fell to Carol and Rhodey, both of whom were on the battlefield today. Besides, Tony had had it specifically written into Rogers’ Accords contract that he was strictly forbidden from giving orders to Tony. Petty maybe, but given how easily Rogers had turned on him and left him behind, Tony had felt entirely justified in insisting on it. And given the Accords Council were among the few who knew the full truth about what had happened in Siberia, they’d had little hesitation in agreeing.

“He is most tiresome,” Doom said from where he was hovering over the battlefield.

Tony had long ago given up trying to get to Doom himself and had focussed on the doombots. From things Doom had said earlier, he thought he was being terribly clever and had hidden his control drone in such a way that Tony would never be able to find it. Tony couldn’t help but think that a challenge had been issued... and also rather weirdly like Doom was flirting with him. He was flattered, really, but his standards were a bit higher than someone who constantly referred to themselves in the third person. Besides, he was taken.

“Tell me about it,” Tony replied, a little distracted by FRIDAY’s search algorithm and definitely ignoring the outraged splutter from the comms.

“Doom wonders why he was permitted back. The Avengers seem to have much higher standards these days.”

There was a slightly petulant air to Doom’s comment and Tony smothered an amused snort. He knew what that was about. Doom had actually petitioned the Accords Council to be allowed to sign on as Latveria’s ‘superhero’. However, superhero he might be in Latveria, everywhere else he was a Grade A menace and as such, his petition had been denied. His attacks on New York had stepped up a notch in the wake. Fortunately, the Fantastic Four were usually the ones to deal with him. Unfortunately, today the Fantastic Four were... somewhere. Tony didn’t know where but something about another dimension had been mentioned in the briefing he’d largely ignored in favour of the technical information Rhodey had sent him.

“I ask myself the same question every day, Doom of Man,” Tony said blithely as FRIDAY’s algorithm honed in on the control drone. “And I can never come up with any decent answer. Ha!”

That last exclamation coincided with Tony blowing up the control drone and the rest of the doombots dropping from the sky.

“Doom is impressed. Perhaps one day, you will allow Doom to show you exactly how impressed.”

With that, Doom opened a portal and disappeared, presumably back to Latveria, leaving a rather exasperated Tony in his wake.

“Platypus, was he flirting with me?”

“Yeah, Tones, he was,” Rhodey said with dry amusement. “You really can pick ‘em.”

“Hey, I did not pick Doom,” Tony said indignantly. “I have better taste than that. I have Pepper. That tells you I have impeccable taste.”

“Doesn’t say much for her taste though,” Rhodey teased before slipping back into his command mode. “Alright, Avengers, clean up and then back to the Compound for a debriefing.”

Tony sighed and looked down at the doombots littering the ground and the tops of the buildings. “I’ll start up here.” He suddenly grinned. “Hey, sugarplum, what do you think Pepper would do if I told her Doom kept hitting on me?”

Rhodey’s snort of laughter escaped seemingly despite his best efforts. “Tony, no. She’ll conquer Latveria in revenge and you do not need a whole country.”

“But honey bear,” Tony whined as he flew down to pick up the first doombots. “I want one.”

“No,” Rhodey said firmly. 

Tony grinned as he continued to whine at Rhodey as they worked and if he was enjoying the barely hidden scoffs and scowls coming from Rogers, well, that was just a bit of icing on his cake.


End file.
